


Unrequited

by eustassya



Category: Durarara
Genre: I have no idea what I was doing, M/M, Raijin Days, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-13
Updated: 2015-02-13
Packaged: 2018-03-12 04:58:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3344465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eustassya/pseuds/eustassya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, the person you love, doesn't love you back. Life isn't a fairy tale.</p><p>Valentine's Day gift for a special friend~ <3</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unrequited

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: mild suicidal thoughts at the end, may be triggering for some? idek. Angst I hope, not a happy ending, there is no sequel to this.
> 
> My second fic I've written, hopefully someone enjoys it.. :) I don't have a beta, so there might be some typing errors.. /)_(\ Sorry about that.
> 
> Happy Valentine's Day! This fic is dedicated to my lovely Pierce ^^ 
> 
> Disclaimer: all characters belong to Narita, I only own the story.
> 
> Enjoy! :)

Another year passed. Finally, it was graduation year. It wasn't like me to be sentimental, but I couldn't help but think of how much time we had spent together these past four years. So much had changed, yet at the same time, everyone remained the same; Shinra annoyingly curious as always, and him trying to kill me every time we met. I smiled to myself as I walked past the familiar gates of Raira Academy, on the first day of school, in my usual black jacket and red shirt, a crimson muffler wrapped around my neck. I would do it this year. I definitely would.

January, with all it's cold wintry snow and harsh biting wind, rolled past. His birthday, the 28th. Just like every year I had known him, I left him an anonymous present in his locker. This time, it was mango pudding. He seemed happy, smiling softly when he opened it up and ate it. Hiding out of sight at the end of the corridor behind the row of lockers, I was watching him, a strange warm feeling bubbling in my chest. "Shizu-chan~" I called out. "Damn flea.." He growled, sending shivers up my spine. Of course, I didn't let it show. We played yet another game of cat-and-mouse, dashing down familiar streets and alleys, back roads, the tops of buildings. I loved this city, my playground, the humans hurrying on with their lives, the pulsing heartbeat that was the theme music for our game, the adrenaline rush that always left me sitting on the black leather couch in the living room, laughing giddily.

February arrived, and with it the end of the winter season. The temperature was getting warmer and warmer each day, the snow gradually thinning out. It was also the month of Valentine's Day. For the longest time, I had been practicing making chocolates, hoping to create the perfect texture and taste. Even though I had been leaving love letters in his locker for a long time, those had just been to annoy him. This year, I really hoped I could.. Just maybe.. Could he feel the same way..? There was only one way to find out.

The 14th of February. Valentine's Day. The same red muffler was wrapped around me, as I inhaled the crisp morning air. Carefully placed in my hands was a red heart-shaped box of creamy homemade milk chocolates, coupled with a small pale yellow envelope, a handwritten letter sealed inside. It was still snowing, but the temperature had risen significantly. The sky was covered by a blanket of clouds, heavy with the promise of snow. Street lamps were still lighted, yellowish balls of glowing light sifting through the morning mist. There were no cars on the roads, or any sign of life, for that matter. After all, it was four in the morning. Shrugging to no one in particular, I continued on my way from my apartment in Shinjuku to Ikebukuro. I had always been an early riser.

A light skip in my step, I arrived in Ikebukuro at five thirty, before my usual time, and definitely way before school started. Casually strolling down the classroom block's corridor, I looked out the windows. It was still dark, the sounds of the slowly awakening city replacing chirping crickets and the swishing of tree leaves behind the school. Since no one was here, I wandered around for a while, before ending up at the row of lockers. For some reason, mine was right next to Shizuo's, a wonderful coincidence. Checking that the box was still fine and nothing was out of place, I picked the lock on his locker, placing the box inside, along with my note. "Now, I can only hope.." I murmured to myself, that he feels the same. Time seemed to pass by extra slow today as the second hand of the clock inched slowly on. Eventually, weak rays of the sun peeked out from behind buildings and trees, illuminating the school building in a golden glow. As a few students started arriving, I skipped off towards the classroom, sliding into my seat. The room was empty. Sighing quietly, I flipped open my laptop, going through the daily motions of scrolling through my usual information sources, saving pictures and documents, going online in the underground world's forum site. The classroom gradually filled up with students, idly chattering or feverishly scribbling on their assignments, hoping to be able to finish it before lessons started. I smirked to myself, locking my laptop and settling for watching my dear humans. _What interesting creatures they are, humans. Such a wide range of emotions, expressions, body language, and so much more. Humans are molded by their past, either holding them down, or making them stronger. Different people, different experiences, different reactions. And yet, the majority of humans are the same, responding to provocation or temptation almost identically. It's funny. Different, yet the same. Unique, yet perceived as normal in a group with others._ Idly I wondered if I could be considered a normal person. 'Of course not! I am, after all, a god, of a higher status than a mere human~' I grinned to myself, my crazy logic always present in my mind. 'And then there's Shizu-chan, the monster, always being so unpredictable, the only one I'm unable to have a platonic love for.' The edges of my smile turned bitter, my eyes lowering only slightly. It's painful, having to hide it like this. The bell rang.

Lunch break saw me on the rooftop with Shinra, the only person who I could remotely call a friend. Any time now, Shizu-chan would come bursting through the doors to the staircase, demanding an explanation for the chocolates and the note, just like every past year. Shinra was telling me something, probably professing his undying love for Celty, his Irish faerie bride-to-be. I nodded at appropriate times, spacing out. Preparing what I was going to say to him later on. "Are you even listening to me, Izaya?" An unfocused nod. He sighed, waving a hand in my face. I blinked. "Huh? Oh, sorry.. I was just thinking..." I trailed off. Shinra would understand. We were close enough to be considered best friends, knowing each other since childhood. "It's about Shizuo, right? You get like this every Valentine's Day.." he sighed, "Until he shows up." I nodded, looking away. Was it really that obvious?

"IIIIIIIIIIZAAAAYAAAAAAAA!" A deep baritone voice resounded throughout the school. Ah, speak of the devil. The doors burst open, the sound of metal ripping flooding my ears. "Tsk tsk, you shouldn't break the doors too, you know? Shizu-chan.." I murmured, a smirk automatically spreading itself across my face. "You damn flea! Trolling with me again! Why can't you just leave me alone?!" Anger marred his features as he grabbed one of the unhinged doors, flinging it towards me. Smoothly dodging the metal sheet, I simply stood there, hands in my pockets, leaning lazily against the safety barrier. Waiting for the curses he would usually spew.

What caught me off-guard was the calmness in his voice. Even Shinra, who was scared out of his pants and had been trying to escape, stopped and stared at him.

"Look. Izaya. I'm tired of fighting." A slight panic started to form inside me as I took in the real meaning of those words. Time seemed to come to a standstill as my stomach churned, my heart rate speeding up slightly. _Relax_ , I tried to tell myself, _It's not like he's going to leave or something._ But I knew. I knew where this was going. I had read enough of heartbroken girls' experiences to have a vague idea of what was a good thing and what was a bad thing in a relationship. And this situation didn't seem to be very positive - it looked like our relationship, if that's what you could call it, was coming to an end.

"Just leave me alone already. I hate you." Those three words. A pang in my chest, like somebody had thrust a knife in, and decided to cut out my heart, twisting the blade about with a morbid fascination. I couldn't breathe.

"Don't even try to get my attention ever again, because I'll just ignore you. Hopefully, this is the last time I see your face out of lesson time." My knees went weak, and it was all I could do to hold myself upright with my hands on the metal barrier. Maybe if I closed my eyes and pinched my cheek, I would wake up. But, no. This hurt too much to be a dream.

"I'm done wasting my time and energy on you." With that, he left just as quickly as he had arrived. It was everything I hadn't anticipated. I collapsed on the ground, staring at the floor, my eyes glassy. Vaguely, I registered Shinra coming over, sympathetic as always. His face had been calm, like he was having a normal conversation with a normal person. But his eyes, his beautiful warm mocha eyes, usually flashing with rage, or any sort of emotion at all, had been cold. How ironic. I forced out a smirk, vaguely aware of the tears pricking at the corners of my eyes. "Ah~ Unpredictable as always, aren't you, Shizu-chan?" I said out loud, the pain barely hidden in my voice. Usually, it would be me, with the cold eyes and calm voice. But it seems this time the tables were turned. The tears streamed down.

His eyes were cold. Cold, like the icy cold snow falling all around me. Cold, like the numb emotionless pain I am feeling. Cold, like the crystal clear seawater splashing against the rocks way below the steep cliff I am walking along. Cold. Like the liquid streaming down my cheeks, to drip off my chin and onto the ground as I trudge home slowly. The skies are overcast again, how funny. _Even the weather matches how I'm feeling. Haha._ I laugh bitterly to myself. _He hates me, so what could have made me think that he would accept my 'love'?_ If anything, it was pitiful. The sun is setting. _I better get home before my mother gets back. Oh, wait. She doesn't really care. Oh, this just gets better and better_. I look up into the clouds, now tinted with vivid hues of orange, pink, gold and purple. Still smiling, I turn to look at the sun, slowly sinking over the horizon. _I wonder, what would happen if I happened to fall down..?_

\-- END --


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